It's been a hard past few days. Yes, I enjoyed my weekend and I had time with friends as well as relaxed. But I've hit a "valley", "wall", or I'm just "in a slump". I don't know what it is. You'd think that this deployment would just get easier. You know, I'd get a little more "used" to the fact that my husband is not here. And at times it DOES seem like that. Yes, the initial goodbye was WAY more emotional and traumatic than the rest of the past three months. (It will be three months tomorrow). However, I have hit my FIRST big "slump". I'm married. Something I've waited and dreamed about my entire life. I know marriage isn't always "pleasant" but the unpleasant times are totally worth all of the pleasant times. I'm married, and I don't feel like it. Don't get me wrong, I'm TOTALLY committed... that is not the problem, I am just living the life of a SINGLE girl again. Coming home to my dog, throwing my emotions and life into work, and counting down the days by waiting for my favorite TV shows to come on. I'm doing lots of fun things, and I've even met some great friends... but I want to be done with that part. I want to share my life with my husband and I can't. And it makes me sad. I want to feel his love again, I want to see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice and feel it in his arms, but I can't. My primary "love language" is quality time.... hummm... wonder how that's working out for me?!?... not so great! I know there will be times when I'm on top of the mountain and feeling GREAT but it's not one of those times right now. And that's alright. I think I'm allowed to be sad and have my valleys b/c my NEW husband is not with me.
So this morning I didn't really want to wake up, face the day, and stop dreaming about my husband. But I did and I rolled over to wake Bohdi up. He took one look at me and feel asleep like this.......
I feel your pain, Bohdi... I COMPLETELY understand! Of course, this made me laugh, which helped with facing the morning which turned into a beautiful day!
Thanks for reading! :)
6 comments:
Oh my - that picture made me laugh. I'm so sorry for your "slump", which, by the way, is normal since you do love your husband and miss being with him. I'm sorry you're hurting - but the thing that always amazes me about you is that you will bounce right back. You will be sad, and you will want to pull the covers over your head, but you will climb right out of this and head back into life stronger than ever. I love your resilient spirit! God is faithful and He will carry you through. Love you lots! AB
Love that Bohdi! It's good that you have him around to lift your spirits and occasionally infuriate you! I'm so sorry for your slump too. I wondered why you hadn't called in awhile. You can still call when you are down.:) I love that you have this kind of strong love for your husband though. It stinks to feel so badly, but you are God's child and he will honor this love you have for James. Hang in there girl. I also know how very strong you are and how you are made stronger as you are held "to the fire". I love you!
Very cute!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Must be horrible to be away from him for so long. Just keep leaning on your girlfriends for moral support--especially the ones who also are missing their husbands. They can truly empathize with you. Love you Tiff and pray that God will continue to watch over you. ^_^
My love language is quality time too! And acts of service came in a close second, so I know how you feel when you're feeling a little unloved lately. Oh how I envy those military wives whose love lang. is words! The three month mark is my breaking point. I had time to enjoy my independence, do my own thing, watch what I wanted on tv; now I want my husband back! I'm praying for ya, and if you need anything, just call!
Tiffany,
Tiffany again! Hey-you should really come tonight if you're available. We're at Amy Balmer's house-the assistant minister's wife. She lives off of Yadkin, right by the Yadkin gate. IF you need directions, call her at 868-5148. Hope you can make it; it'll cheer you up and they'll be great food.
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