"Does anyone update their blog anymore?"

Dad was just asking today if anyone ever updated their blogs anymore. I know, I know, I've been so bad at updating my blog since January. Here's my excuse, the things I have to say, what I'm thinking/feeling do not necessarily need to be broadcasted all over the internet and the pictures that I have are all up on facebook. so I figure I have nothing to blog about.

So I'm just gonna throw it out there and blog a little.

My status right now: I am planning on moving to Colorado this month on the 18th. I'm having trouble getting ahold of people in CA to see if my stuff can get out there at that time. It's a big move. I'm excited, nervous and a little sad. Moving into a house all by myself is a good step but it just reinforces the fact that I'm getting a divorce, which is still very sad to me. So here is my new house with four bed rooms just for me and Bohdi.. come visit!!

My school is pretty cool. It's going to be a tough first year and I will be really tired, but it will be good to have something to through myself into this next year. Here's a pic of my classroom. I DO Have a view of Pikes Peak, but can't open my blinds b/c of security reasons. :(

My healing process: Ehhh, still the same. Kinda of at a stand still. I think I need to get on my own to start the next phase of the healing process. I have down days still but most of the days are good days. Most days I'm thankful I'm not with James, I'm happy that I can find someone who really loves me, that I'm making a better life for myself than I could've with James... but other days it still just stinks. He's still trying to be with this 20 yr old girl and her baby and it still hurts. The fact that he would work so hard for her, but not for our marriage still feels like a slap in the face sometimes. That and the fact that it is all just SO WRONG, he is just making horrible decisions and I don't understand how in the world he "justifies" his actions. Most days I just try not to think about it... I think that's the best plan. Also, I have found the healing process to be different for everyone in this situation. For the past six months I've had to face the fact that my husband doesn't want me or our marriage anymore. There was no hiding from it for me. I was FORCED to heal from it and "move on". While other family members could still go to work put it out of their minds for a few hrs and "heal" when they had time to heal. This has made the "healing process" a little longer and different for them. Which causes "tension" in the dating aspect of it all. I feel I'm ready to date. Does that mean that I'm completely healed and never going to be sad over my divorce again?... NO! But I do feel that I'm ready to date and I'm not sure other family members are quite as comfortable with that. It's a very hard situation for everyone involved.

Recently we went to Arkansas. I was looking forward to the trip to begin with but due to certian circumstances I started dreading the trip. It was VERY draining for me, I don't think I needed it at this time in my life. I'm healing, but I'm still weak and my emotions are fragile. I had a VERY hard time keep them under control that week. And I wish it could've just been a fun trip to visit Mamaw. Oh well, maybe next time.

Here's a pic of all four kids at the pond behind Mamaw's house

and this is my favorite pictures of the week....

Then we had the "Haugh Family" reunion where I also had a photo shoot. There are lots of new pictures up on www.trosephoto.com of course it just now starting to take off, just in time for me to go to COS... but I'm thankful for the extra little bit of cash and the photo shoots are way fun! I won't post any pics of the photo shoots (you can see them on the website), but here is a picture of the Reunion

The Clarks also came to visit and we had a fun time with them. I didn't get to spend as much time with them as I would've liked b/c of my trip to Colorado Springs, but we did get a good campfire in one evening! :)

So that's about it for now! We are enjoying some time at Lost River this week. Then I'm headed over to Snowshoe for a Bluegrass Festival! My last few exciting adventures before I head out west. I'll try to post pics of L.R. and Bluegrass festival sometime next week! :)